Sunday, March 13, 2011

Deep Trust: Day 5 of 40 Days

Part of my decision to leave Portland in February of 2010 involved leaving behind a predictably content life (and regular employment!) to chase after the great unknowns that lay beyond. I needed to reinspire myself regarding life. And so, I welcomed myself into the Mystery, as I chartered unknown territory of the heart, the earth, and life itself, unsure of what the outcomes of it all would be. A year later, I still see the mystery before me as I delve into a new life in a new place.

It was hard to leave the life I had in Portland in a couple of ways. The families I was working for were fabulous. I felt quite attached to their children, as I had walked beside them through many of their developmental changes. Also, many of my closest friends are clustered in that city. They have become my second family, friends who have been there for each other through so much and celebrated together, through so many years.

But I was ready to leave, ready for the unpredictable future, for new adventures, for travel, for love. I followed my heart to Texas, totally unsure of what Lucas and I would discover was in the cards for us. I was also preparing to go on a much needed adventure in Mexico for several weeks. Beyond that, I had no plans, and no idea how life would unfold.

And yes, it has unfolded in the most unexpected ways during this past year. There is no way I could have predicted my current circumstances, and for that I am grateful. I am grateful that life continues to pleasantly surprise and delight me. I am grateful that I am willing to take chances and risks in order to allow more surprises into the mix. I certainly am grateful that I followed my heart to Texas, that I trusted that things would work out the way they needed to!

For here I am, joyfully ENGAGED to Lucas. I did NOT see that coming! I am living once again in the northwest near a town I had never been to before last fall, Mt. Shasta. And for the first time all year, I am finally able to look for that steady meaningful employment.

I have always been one to relocate for the place/people and not for the work. Luckily Lucas feels the same way. When we drove through this area last fall, scouting out areas in Southern Oregon and Northern California to possibly move to, we surprisingly fell in love with the Mt. Shasta area. We spent one night camping on Mt. Shasta...and that was it! All other options were thrown to the wolves. We both felt the magic and the power of the mountain and both felt confident that this needed to be our next home. (Incidentally, that is also when Lucas felt inspired to ask me to marry him!)

Thus, here we are. Living in Mt. Shasta's shadow, enjoying the mountain air, the fresh clean spring water, the mountain views, the small town life. And we are discovering that finding work in the area is challenging.

Following your bliss, following your heart, your intuition, following the calling of the Great Beyond/the Mystery/ all takes an enormous amount of trust. Trust that the path you are choosing, or that is choosen for you from a greater power, is the right one. That everything will work out, even the unknown aspects, even if it seems challenging to make all the pieces fall into place. You have to trust that because you were called to this path, one by one, the pieces will fall into place.

Often it is the challenges like these that force us to grow...they help us to become more creative in our approaches, resource a will-power and motivation we had forgotten about or never used, step further out of our comfort zone to expand our opportunities and experiences. If we don't follow our heart and our intuition, we miss out on so many wonderful possibilities and so many new ways to grow!

So, I am resourcing deep trust that the work will come. And I am feeling deep gratitude for all I am learning and exeriencing along the way.

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